Saying Goodbye...

Hello Sunshines!

So I'm going to get serious, I sincerely and completely hate saying "Goodbye". It's one of those words that I can't stand, because it literally means "parting". I don't know about you, but I don't ever want to part with my closest friends, church, family, or anything I've come to care about deeply.

What "genius" came up with word to begin with anyway? Honestly, google doesn't even know (I tried lol). Don't get me wrong, I don't say "Screw you!" when people tell me goodbye, but I definitely cringe a little. The thought process is literally, "What if this is the last time I tell you goodbye?" or "I won't ever be able to do that again."

That last thought hit me REAL hard back in April. I had to say goodbye to so many things forever. High school, Girl Scouts, youth group, library volunteering, Teen Advisory Board, and others. All these things that shaped who I am, I had to say "Goodbye" for good.

The cat above (it's name is Chococat according to Google) is the exact depiction of me looking out my window with the thought of "What the heck am I going to do now?". Everything I built my life off of for the past 13 years of my life (all of school) are now over. The lost feeling hit me like a semi-truck going full speed down a steep hill.

But why? Let me tell you. I've been dedicated to Girl Scouts for 13 years where a huge part of my personality developed. I love my faith and started getting really involved back in 2015. The library opened new doors to me and a better ability of locating things in the place (I used to be so lost lol) for the past 3 years. Saying 'bye' to high school, meant parting with 13 years of being home-schooled by my wonderful mother.

All those things created my every page of my chapter in life for many, many years. So it's natural to hate saying "Goodbye for good" to it all. Not to mention all at once. Senior year is great and all, but oh my word it's hard when it's over.

So to be quite blunt, I'm pretty much starting over. New school, new friends, new faith formation, new volunteering positions, new everything (for the most part).

I will say though. In the past month of starting fresh, I haven't had one regret. The people I've met and helped are honestly the best. Don't even get me started on how excited I am to start my college journey.

This is why I chose one of the sides for my class ring to be the symbol of a rose. The rose has many meanings, but it's deepest is "Promise, Hope, and New beginnings". What a great way to symbolize a new chapter in life.

All in all, a chapter in your book of life needs to end eventually. But your life doesn't end there. There's still many more chapters to write before the book is complete. So I won't stop writing.

xoxo Sunshines!