Not Ready

Hey Sunshines!

It's time to be completely and totally honest with you. After a few recent events, none of which I'll get into right now, I've realized that I'm not ready for a serious relationship.

Don't take me wrong, I want something real. Just not right now. I'm only 18 and I know that those gut feelings telling me "You're not ready girl, whatchu doing?" aren't lying to me.

The constant questions that run through every young girl's (and boy's) head always land at the same one, "When am I ready for the real deal?". I can't answer that and I don't want to. It isn't for me to decide the "when", it's up to God to decide.

Now I get it, some of you aren't religious, but what part of you can actually decide the "when" of things? There's no way to tell when or how things will happen, they just will and it's up to us to just let it happen.

Being the stubborn person I am, I refused to just let my life go its course. Wow that was a mistake, like a massive mistake. I ended up creating the biggest train wreck of my life even the dead turned in their graves.

Funny thing is, that's okay. We all have to smash down a few trees before we realize the damage. It's part of life and learning. Otherwise we'd keep hitting the same tree and don't know a single soul who wants to do that.

You want to know the best part about just letting life happen? You stop looking for the light. Instead it's just right in front of you to gaze upon forever, alone or not. And those trees? They become shadows in your light.

So, to sum it up, I've decided that I will try to quit controlling my life and just let it go how it wants to. Afterall, it's not up to me on when things will happen, I can just control how I take it.

xoxo Sunshines!